I am a great believer in the GROW model for coaching and it tends to be my default for coaching engagements. It is simple, straightforward, understandable and provides a great way to frame discussions.
Gross generalisation time but in my experience lots of people have a reasonable view of what they want to achieve and they have thought about many of the options already. However, in many circumstances they have not taken a step back and though about the “R” – today’s reality.
This is the time for clients to be uncomfortably honest with themselves and with their coach. There is no change in results without a change in thoughts as well as activity.
I find that in many circumstances this is where the coach can add the most value and where a coaching relationship is differentiated and better than talking with colleagues, managers, friends and even family. A coach should frankly be better and more able to help their client get to the real crux of the current situation.
Straightforward to this point but what I am increasingly seeing in discussions with clients is that people’s perception of their reality is framed by what they think others think of them and their current position. It is easy to say this doesn’t matter but that’s simply not true and everyone, to a lesser or greater extent, has interest and concern with what others think of them.
Untangling this is not straightforward but it really critical if a coach to help make a real difference to their client and free them and give them the confidence to appraise options and take the right actions.
I was reflecting on this last week when my daughter received her A-Level results. She did really well, got very good grades and got in to her second choice Leeds University to study Maths. We were so delighted and proud as parents but she was a little disappointed as she had missed 1 grade to get in to her first choice university in Manchester. In reality she is equally happy with Leeds but what struck me was how much she was bothered not by her results but by what she thought others would think.
In truth what others think is – bloody brilliant results well done – but that was not her initial thinking and therefore her reality was initially warped.
I’m not sure there is an answer but in today’s modern digital world where all information is so easily accessible it has to be part of how coaches help their clients with establishing the “truth of today’s reality”.
Anyway GCSE results this week and I will definitely take last week’s learning with me as we manage the outcome. Fingers are all crossed.